A reminder to do your research before getting too "clever."
Owners of the short-lived “Tuna Tank Restaurant” in Chicago face charges for physical and emotional damages sustained by the few clients, adventurous enough to dine at the unique-concept establishment.
The Tuna Tank burst onto the culinary dining scene with a bang — or maybe a “bam” would be more appropriate — as in BamBam, the blonde, diapered son of Betty and Barney Rubble from The Flintstones. Presenting a twist on the classic restaurant lobster tank, patrons are handed a mallet and sent to one of many enormous fish tanks to “clobber” the tuna of their choice. Once sufficiently pummeled, the chef takes over, hoisting the fish from the tank to prepare in whatever way is preferred, be it teriyaki, blackened or simply grilled.
Given the size of a tuna fish, conditions at the Tuna Tank quickly became messy, stinky and downright dangerous. One patron tumbled into a tank when the rambunctious fish took exception to being bonked on the head with the sizable mallet. Another customer accidentally clubbed her husband as he wrestled to hold a fish still, while yet another clobbered her husband, although he was nowhere near the tank.
Restaurant owner, Frank Bustle, admits he should have done more research before opening the joint. “I gotta admit, I thought tunas were small, y’know. Like the cute, little cans they come in. I thought it was one tuna fish per can. That first delivery of two dozen tunas shocked the hell out of me. My tanks were too shrimpy, so I had to dash out, find bigger tanks and mallets. No easy feat! Two of my cooks quit right on the spot, cause they didn’t wanna deal with it.”
Sadly, opening and closing night for The Tuna Tank were one and the same. In addition to the pending legal fees, Mr. Bustle has suffered recurring nightmares involving angry, mallet-wielding patrons and animal rights activists, chasing him down Michigan Avenue. Sadly, this nightmare is sure to become a reality, should he ever decide to come out of hiding. “I’m in deep water,” he declared, then chuckled at his own joke. At least he is still able to laugh.
Trial begins in June.
You are a nut. Love it!
Brilliantly realised tragicomedy in 360 words: It's at first hard to comprehend the restaurant's ridiculous concept - and the ensuing mayhem, but when Frank Bustle admits his ignorance of tuna the pathos came through.
Hilarious. You had this this semi-vegetarian at hello! 😂
Love it JP! sounds like a business you know who would have tried!
Laugh out loud! Best line: while yet another clobbered her husband, although he was nowhere near the tank!! You have a funny mind my friend!!